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chrislhs
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Name: Chris
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 1/14/1989
Gender: Male
Interests: Making things glow in the dark, (What kind of things? Wouldn't you like to know?) Ranting, Foaming at the mouth, Chasing after girls i know I can't get. (What it counts doesn't it?)
Expertise: Bio-genetic engineering, Sociogenic analysis, Micro-geneology, Anthropomorphic studies, Gastronomy, Divination, Concoting brews and capping yo' po' ass from 300 meters.
Occupation: Research and development
Industry: Research
Message: message me
AIM:  homicidalbunny21
MSN: NoOneUsesMSN
Yahoo:  YahooisLame
Jabber: WTFisJabber?
Member Since:
9/4/2003
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| It's 2:20 in the morning in rainy Los Angeles and I'm writing on a website that no one follows anymore. It's a release. I've been having musings lately about life in general. Life is hard, this we all know. We know it, but we don't believe it. Unconsciously, we all think that nothing bad can ever happen to us. It's why when people complain, we tell them to suck it up, that it's their fault. But sometimes, it really isn't.
I've been obsessing. I know I have. I think I'm getting better. The only judge is myself in the future. If anything, I've only learned to be more cold, and calculating than before. I'm not entirely sure that's what I wanted from this.
Recently, I've noticed that humans lived in a strange duality within themselves. We identify ourselves as a unique, individual, but we also see ourselves as a smaller piece of a larger entity. A nation for example, a college, a club, a family, or a race. It's by nature a contradiction, to be independent, yet dependent. Our identity, which we all cherish as unique and our own, is in reality defined by our dependency on larger entities and groups. Which ultimately begs the question, is there anything as true independence?
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| Time's supposed to heal all wounds, but there are some scars that just aren't going to go away. I know that I'm probably the last person you'd like to hear from, but truth be told, there's something i need to tell you.
I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. I've been immature, and I've said so many stupid things, and now I'm reaping the consequences. I'm still not over you. It feels lilke ages ago, and I still care about you. I've tried to forget you, and who knows, you may have suceeded, but I haven't. I was just too prideful to admit it.
Maybe one day, we'll speak again. Maybe one day, we'll have a meaningful friendship again. All I know is that today, we're still not talking. Really, I have no one to blame but myself. I'm sorry for violating your trust, and I'm sorry for hurting you. Looking back on it, it all seems so petty, but I can't take it back.
In time, maybe we'll be friends again. Maybe, I'll try again. I don't know, we'll have to see.
Sincerity I can't send. Such is life.
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| schools almost here... dreading it? or looking forward to it? your decision...
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| mmm... no one seems to read this anymore which is a-ok for me. since
that just means i get to act more like an idiot since no one really
cares! so hooray!
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